


A Little Differently

by samariumwriting



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, I'll try to keep the tags to a minimum because this is going to be a Lot, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Trans Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-25 18:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samariumwriting/pseuds/samariumwriting
Summary: A collection of oneshots for a modern college au.-Recent chapter: Dedue reflects on his relationship with Dimitri; what he tells others is not the reality.





	1. Contents

1: Changes - Felix was coming to university to leave his past and familiarity behind him. Of course, that meant he just had to run into his old friends. A lot has changed since then, for all of them. Felix and Sylvain centric, posted 24/08/2019

2: Journey - It's time to leave and head to Garreg Mach University. Ignatz is nervous, but he knows he'll be okay with Raphael by his side. Ignatz and Raphael centric, posted 25/08/2019

3: Deserving - Dedue reflects on his relationship with Dimitri; what he tells others is not the reality. Dedue and Dimitri centric, posted 27/08/2019


	2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix was coming to university to leave his past and familiarity behind him. Of course, that meant he just had to run into his old friends. A lot has changed since then, for all of them.

The whole business had him on edge all day. Actually, scratch that, the whole thing had been bothering him for weeks, months, ever since he’d known that this autumn would be it. The start of the rest of his life, for real, away from the past. Away from his father and unasked questions and the guilty support.

Felix was sick of the past. He was sick of living in a house full of memories. The last thing he wanted was to attend the school his father waxed poetic about. The prospect of it all intimidated him. He hated feeling the weight of history on his shoulders as he went somewhere. It was like an expectation, and that was usually something he didn’t want to live up to.

But the thing that set him on edge the most wasn’t the history of the university, or the feeling of his father’s hand on his shoulder as he said a shaky goodbye, the memories of ages past filling his eyes. It wasn’t the unspoken ‘I wish Glenn could have been here’, nor his mother’s reminder that he should make sure to call them often because they wanted to know how he was getting on.

No, it was sitting down in that classroom with the new teacher who said they wanted to do things a little differently. That teacher, who was undeniably skilled and knowledgeable and very keen. The usual way that it worked, they said, was they’d been assigned a small group of students that they were meant to meet occasionally. To mentor them, one on one. This was something Felix could cope with.

But no, of course this fancy new teacher he’d had the misfortune to be lumbered with was different. They didn’t want everything to be separate and individual.

That was how, on the first day of the first week of term, he ended up next to someone who was startlingly familiar. Someone who, the moment Felix was noticed, he had to get away from. Because the recognition in those eyes was too much to deal with.

He sat somewhere else while the teacher, Byleth, rambled through an introductory presentation about rules and respect and all of that nonsense. All Felix could focus on was the sight in front of him. Because that was...well, coming to this university was a mistake. But how was he to know that all his childhood friends would be put in the same room as him on a daily basis?

The whole business had his stomach turning in knots. This was meant to stop reminding him of the past. This was meant to be him, moving on, moving past the foolishness his father had placed on his shoulders. This was meant to be about him. But no, instead it was going to be about avoiding people he never wanted to see again.

It wasn’t like he disliked his friends. Except the beast, but that was another matter and that thing wasn’t his friend anymore. But he...he’d run away from all of that in a difficult time. He’d run away from all of them, and he wasn’t planning on looking back. He’d changed a lot and he hated explaining it. He hated people linking his gender to his past so he’d just wanted to look forwards.

Avoiding people who knew he was right there was very, very difficult. Even more difficult than he’d been anticipating. In their first break, he ducked out of the classroom to go to the bathroom. At the end of the period, he practically sprinted to his next class even though it wasn’t for another half hour.

The problem was then that there was another the day after. And another the day after that. And after the second time of being late, Byleth asked him if something was wrong, and he could no longer be late without them asking again. He felt like they saw straight through him, and that made him uncomfortable.

So, on the fourth day, he was on time. Exactly on time. He was not a minute early nor a minute late; he waited in the bathroom until twenty seconds before just so he was exactly on time, and Byleth...wasn’t there. The door to the classroom was locked, and everyone was standing outside. The offending parties included.

He tried to keep his head down, his eyes fixed firmly on his phone, but it was no use. Of course they couldn’t just ignore him. At least it was just one, but the moment any words came out-

“It’s been so long!” There was the huge smile, too. The same as it always had been, all teeth and happiness and light eyes. “I’m so glad I finally got to talk to you again, Feli-”

“Don’t you dare finish that fucking sentence,” he snapped. A frown. A hurt look. Everyone was staring. He was going to have to make something out of this, not to save face but just to avoid the situation getting any worse.

“Look, I don’t know what I did, but-”

He sighed. “Felix,” he said. “Don’t finish the sentence, because it’s Felix now. And don’t you dare forget it.” He shuffled his feet and resolutely did not put his phone in his pocket. Why couldn’t Byleth just hurry up? Could he actually leave if they ended up being fifteen minutes late?

But when he chanced a look up, when silence had fallen between them, he was met with a look of...was that a smile? Why? “Well, it’s good to see you again, Felix. It’s been a long time, so, ha, call me Sylvain.”

Oh. Oh, okay. That...the smile made sense. “Fine,” he said. Silence fell again. “What, were you expecting me to say something else?”

“Oh, nope, not at all,” Sylvain said, and there was a sort of smug look on his face. Bastard. He probably thought he still knew him, after all this time (the worst thing was that he probably did). “Wouldn’t have expected anything else from my old pal Felix.”

With that infernal timing of theirs, Byleth rounded the corner and made their way to the door. “Sorry for being late,” they said, carefully neutral as always. Their gaze drifted to Sylvain and Felix almost immediately.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to catch up later,” Sylvain said. And then he reached out and patted Felix on the shoulder. Like he was five fucking years old or something. Felix shot him a glare, and received only a grin in return. “And we will be catching up.” There was an authority to his tone that told Felix immediately that he would not be getting away with avoiding any of them again.

It turned out that the whole thing was something Felix needn’t have avoided but also desperately wanted to avoid at the same time. Because it wasn’t just him who’d changed. It wasn’t just him and Sylvain. And it was incredibly, excruciatingly awkward to think about.

He supposed he should be happy that they’d all get it. And happier still that they’d found a way to be happier within themselves. Ingrid was more confident, Dimitri seemed less...violent. Felix didn’t trust that the beast he’d seen wasn’t just hidden, but he would have to deal with that another time. For now, this was better.

It was better and it was worse. They had so many shared experiences in the past, and Felix couldn’t help but doubt himself. It was one thing for his family to wonder if he was emulating his brother. It was another to see Sylvain as the spitting image of his own elder brother. Another still to have lost two other friends in the midst of grief and to have them all react in exactly the same way.

It was unnerving. It was uncomfortable. It was information Felix didn’t know how to process, how to handle. Knowledge he felt uncomfortable sharing. It made him want to run and never talk to any of them ever again and definitely not speak to others about. Every second with them would remind him of the uncomfortable truth.

So why did it make him happy, in an odd way? Why did he feel a kinship for Dimitri that he’d thought had withered away? Why did Sylvain’s easy discussion of himself make his heart leap?

He hated and loved it in equal measure. And the truth of it...well, the facts weren’t going to vanish overnight. He’d have to deal with it at some point. For now, maybe he could try to enjoy the return of his childhood friends into his life. Maybe.


	3. Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to leave and head to Garreg Mach University. Ignatz is nervous, but he knows he'll be okay with Raphael by his side.

The car was cramped, with Raphael in the back with him, and all the luggage for the two of them in the boot, both of Ignatz’s parents, and Raphael’s sister. Honestly, looking at the car, Ignatz couldn’t quite believe they’d managed to fit everything in. Five people and enough belongings for both of them for the next few months.

Ignatz definitely didn’t mind, though, pressed against Raphael’s side as he was, his feet either side of a box of plates and bowls and cups so they didn’t fall and break during the drive. Maya had two bags on her lap and another at her feet, and there was another bag full of bedding at his father’s feet.

It was nice. The whole lot of them together, bar his brother and Raphael’s grandfather. Yes, it was cramped, and with the sun streaming through the car windows it was going to get hot, but it was still nice. It was warm in a good way.

“Right everyone, are you absolutely sure that you have everything you need?” His mum asked.

“Nope!” Raphael said cheerfully, and Maya groaned. “But I’ll never be sure, and Ignatz sure as hell won’t be either, so we may as well just leave. We won’t be cut off from civilisation, if we’re missing something important we’ll be able to buy it.”

Everyone tactfully avoided the fact that Raphael probably didn’t have the kind of money to worry so little about whether he had everything or not, but it was okay. Ignatz knew he wasn’t a big spender and what he had from his parents would hopefully allow him to treat his boyfriend at least a few times. Even if ‘treat’ meant ‘buy a toothbrush because why would you even think to take that’.

“Okay, if no one has any objections, we’re leaving,” his mum said, turning the key in the engine and pulling out of the drive. Raphael leaned out of the window, waving to his grandfather, and Ignatz hoped his own wave to his brother was visible. He doubted it, but that was okay. His brother probably knew that was the case.

The drive was a long one; it took a good four hours to drive south out of Derdriu and then they had to drive west up into the mountains. They stopped for lunch, which was much needed seeing as even he was starving by the time they got there. Ignatz couldn’t even imagine how Raphael felt at that point.

The journey continued with Ignatz swapping seats with Raphael; he wanted to see the views in the mountains, catch a glimpse of the cathedral and old monastery for the first time...everything. He couldn’t really take photos when they were on the road, and sketching would make him feel ill, he just wanted to see it. Appreciate it.

After a while of staring out of the window, just experiencing every sight, every feeling, he felt Raphael’s head come down to rest on his shoulder. “It’s real beautiful,” he said. “Any chance we’ll see the sea again?”

Ignatz chuckled. “No, we’re coming up to the university from a completely different angle,” he said. “And it’s only visible from the very tallest point at the north end of the mountains, which is miles away from where we’re going.”

“Aw,” he said. “That’s a shame. It’ll still be pretty though, right?”

“I imagine so,” he said. “It is in the centre of a mountain range. They have such a wonderful art collection, too, and the cathedral is stunning. Oh, it’s going to be such a great environment to dr- work and study in.”

Without saying a word more, Raphael squeezed his hand. It would be a great place to do so many drawings and paintings, but to his family (and to himself, really) studying would always have to come first. Always. They were paying a lot of money for him to be able to attend, and he’d worked hard to get there, so it would be cruel of him to waste it. But at the same time, looking out of the window, seeing all the beauty here...he couldn’t waste that, either.

It was late afternoon by the time they arrived at the university and parked the car. It was intimidating, seeing all the people he’d be studying alongside for the next few years. He’d heard rumours that there were some really important people studying here, some of them incredibly rich, and he couldn’t help but be intimidated by that.

His family weren’t hard up for money, sure, and they were very successful, but there was something very different about that compared to the people from the rumours he’d heard. He wasn’t from a family wielding any political power, they just owned a business. They sold art. That was all.

They’d arrived in their car stuffed to the brim, two families together, and as he went to collect their room keys with Raphael he saw a girl get out of a car practically in unison with the three cars around her, the people within all in the same uniform, all carrying a suitcase or two. It was intimidating, to say the least.

But at the same time, it was so interesting. All these different people from very, very different places. The possibilities really excited him. Even though he knew it would take forever for him to work up the courage to talk to people, he couldn’t help but imagine all the things he could learn about other countries or even other continents. It was fantastic.

Room key in hand, he went back to the car and started attempting to unload the boot. His parents and Maya had made a good start, but there were a lot of things and it all had to go somewhere. Carefully, he lifted his box of art supplies out of the back, wincing at how heavy it was. He’d been trying to build some muscle, but it was no use; he felt like he was destined to be weak forever.

“Hey Ignatz, want me to carry that?” Raphael sauntered over, two bags slung over his shoulders and a box already in his hands. Of course he was having no trouble, and Ignatz was glad for it. Raphael’s strength made him feel sort of inferior sometimes, sure, but it sure was handy.

“No, I can manage this,” he said with a smile.

“You’re not meant to lift heavy stuff when-” Oh, right. Heavy lifting and binders weren’t a good combination, especially when they were pretty far away from the place they were carrying it to.

“I know,” he said with a sigh, and put the box on the ground. It was annoying, but he always appreciated the concern. He got so caught up in his thoughts sometimes that he completely forgot. “Sorry, you’re right. Hand me something a little lighter?”

“Of course,” he said, reaching over to grab the bag which had a couple of pillows in it. Ignatz laughed.

“I can take something a bit heavier than that,” he said.

“But I can take loads of heavy things,” Raphael replied, “so just leave that all to me, okay?”

“We have to do several trips anyway,” he said. “I’m taking this backpack as well.”

Raphael looked at him, and Ignatz’s heart nearly melted. He looked so concerned, searching Ignatz’s face for any sign of strain when he pulled the bag onto his back. Satisfied, he grinned and let him lead them towards their rooms.

Putting all his stuff, still in boxes, in his new room felt - odd, somehow. A day ago, most of this stuff had still been in his bedroom at home. And now it was here, where it would stay for ages. And instead of halfway across town, Raphael lived in the next room. And instead of in the next room, his parents lived a six hour drive away.

It was odd, and it was going to be difficult. Ignatz knew that, he really did, because he struggled with being independent sometimes and he didn’t know how well his motivation to study would hold up without his parents looking over his shoulder all the time. But that definitely didn’t mean it was going to be bad. Not at all. Not in the slightest, even.

Because Raphael was there, right there all the time, and he was in a new place where almost no one knew him, and it was a beautiful space, a holy space, and all the people were from so many different places. So yes, it would be tricky. But it would also be such an incredible experience. He just had to work out how to make the most of it.


	4. Deserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedue reflects on his relationship with Dimitri; what he tells others is not the reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is my piece for the Dimidue Week AU day prompt :)

If someone asked Dedue what his relationship with Dimitri was, then his answer was simple and immediate. He and Dimitri had a form of deal. Companionship and protection was what he gave Dimitri, and in return he received opportunities beyond any he would have received at home.

People thought it was odd, and he’d give them that. He supposed their relationship was strange to the unfamiliar eye, and perhaps unequal. People had judged him relentlessly for his closeness to Dimitri, his unfailing trust and gratitude in the face of...everything.

Dedue took their point, but they were wrong. But people would never understand if he expressed their relationship properly in words. It was too much for people to be told that Dimitri had saved his life and he owed him a debt he felt he could never repay. It was too much for people to be told the way Dimitri relied on him to keep his head above water.

He was fine with that. He was fine with their relationship being perceived as unequal, as long as it didn’t reflect poorly on Dimitri. He was a public figure, people always pressuring him for more information, more personal details. They all spent so long tearing into every tiny part of his private life, analysing everything they could come up with.

It made Dedue sick, and he wished there was something he could do. Some way he could improve the way that others viewed Dimitri. He deserved to be viewed as himself, not as the pious little prince that everyone wanted to be something else. He deserved to be viewed as the sweet, kind, caring young man who viewed each life as precious and carried an unfair weight on his shoulders.

Nothing he could do would change the way people viewed Dimitri. At least, not in the way he wanted them to. He wanted them to see him in a better light, in the light he saw him, but people didn’t tend to trust him. He scared them, occasionally, and there was always...Duscur was always on everyone’s mind. He didn’t blame them. It wasn’t often that he wasn’t thinking of his lost home either.

Dimitri always told him that he didn’t care what others thought about their companionship. That was why, he said, he didn’t give a damn if people saw him enter Dedue’s room in the middle of the night and not leave until the morning. He didn’t care if someone saw how they communicated with little more than a glance.

“It is their own loss,” he once said, when Dedue had spotted someone giving them an odd look in the dining hall, “if they cannot accept the things right in front of them. No one can go far if they cannot accept a little difference.”

At the time, Dedue hadn’t dared question what Dimitri meant by that. Their bond went beyond friendship, that much he knew, but he had been so unconvinced of his own importance to Dimitri that he hadn’t dared guess.

When Dimitri had first suggested that they go to university together, Dedue had been surprised; he had initially imagined that Dimitri would want to stay in Fhirdiad, but their only university specialised in magical instruction and research. While Dimitri could probably study anything he put his mind to, Dedue never would have been able to attend such an institution, with his complete lack of magical aptitude.

Dimitri’s actual intention, however, was even harder to square. Garreg Mach University was where the previous heirs to the throne had been educated, going back hundreds of years. But its reputation was one of extreme selection and exclusivity. A commoner from outside Fódlan would never stand a chance.

So when he submitted his application for environmental sciences alongside Dimitri’s own in law, he thought it was just wishful thinking. Dimitri would be accepted without a second glance, as heir to the only nation that was institutionally committed to the Seiros faith. But Dedue? He was barely more than a refugee and had spent most of his years in Fódlan catching up in his education.

As such, when he received the information that he would in fact be attending the university right alongside Dimitri, he assumed that some strings had been pulled. That he was meant to be there as a companion and protector of Dimitri rather than as a student like any other. He was convinced, beyond any doubt, that there was no expectation of him to do much of anything at all, other than keeping up appearances.

But it made Dimitri happy, and he didn’t let on that there was any kind of string-pulling going on, so Dedue was content to go along without any objection. If Dimitri said he needed him there, he needed him there, so that’s where he would be.

Byleth changed that. It took barely a week for them to challenge his own perceptions of his place at the university. He hadn’t even realised that his lack of focus on his subject was visible - he didn’t even know how it was visible to someone who didn’t actually teach him when he hadn’t even had any deadlines or marked work. But somehow, they knew.

When they challenged his feelings on being at the university, he initially didn’t give it a second thought. How could a new staff member, who hadn’t taught in their life, work something like that out so quickly? And who were they to say they could judge Dimitri better than Dedue himself?

But the days wore on and he started to doubt it himself. He didn’t know why, really, seeing as there was nothing to suggest that the faculty really wanted him at the university, and he spent as much time with Dimitri as he did doing anything else (longer, if he were to count the hours spent asleep alongside Dimitri, attempting to keep the shadows at bay).

But he asked Dimitri anyway. “Did you use your influence to get me here?” he asked, one afternoon, while Dimitri was hunched over a law textbook. It felt like he was always hunched over a law textbook.

“Of course not,” he responded without even looking up. As if it was as natural as anything. “I...may have, if they had decided they didn’t have space for you somehow. But I did not have to.”

“I see,” he said, his gaze returning back to his own study materials. Materials he’d only been half-heartedly using, thinking the reason he was here was for Dimitri’s benefit rather than his own. “I apologise, then, your Highness.”

“For what?” he asked, looking up from his book. He hadn’t turned the page for half an hour, so Dedue got the impression he wasn’t in the right frame of mind for studying anyway.

“I assumed I was here for your protection,” he said. “Rather than using the opportunity you granted me, I sought mostly to make your own experiences better. I should not have wasted your generosity.”

“Dedue,” Dimitri said, a small frown on his face. “We’ve been here less than a month. You don’t need to worry about what you have and haven’t done, I promise you. I greatly appreciate your support and company, more than I can really express. But there’s no need to hold yourself back for my sake. You work wonders just by being here.”

“Thank you,” he said, unable to stop the blush from rising to his face. He didn’t know what else to say, but he’d never really been one for grand statements. And it provided a small reassurance, once more, that Dimitri wanted him here. Knowing that he deserved to be here was one thing, but knowing that Dimitri would have made it so he could be anyway...it felt good to be wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh btw Dimitri is trans here because I make the rules

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :) if you have any thoughts on any of the chapters, please leave a comment, including if you have any ideas or requests for other pieces.


End file.
